Introduction

“...in the beginning...”

Since the beginning of time, man has struggled with the Issues of the Heart. From his relationship with God, to his relationships with others, mankind has crippled his success, and detoured his destiny because of Issues.  From addictions to obsessions, from habits to dysfunction’s, we struggle... band-aiding the symptom, unable to arrest the problem. 

I recently had a man contact me that was struggling with an issue.  He proceeded to tell me how his wife had left him and that when I heard her side of the story I would probably think that he was the worst husband and father in the world.  When he finally paused to take a breath, I said to him, “John, do you want help, or do you simply want me to be your friend?  Because if you want help, it will begin with your honesty... your willingness to be transparent.  As long as you insist on projecting your desired persona to me, all I can be is your friend, unable to help.  So which will it be - friend or counselor?”  After a moment of silence, to my delight, he said, “counselor.”

I then shared with John four things to do prior to our first meeting - things, which will help us get to the root of the issues.  These same four things will aid you in preparation for your own open heart surgery.

1. Don't pretend the problem isn't there.  An honest inventory is the place we will begin. Here are some questions to answer to aid you in your inventory. (see Pre-Counseling Worksheet in the appendix – iv, v, vi)

· Describe who you are.

· How do you deal with stress & pressure? (workout, eat, movies, sports, read, etc.)

· What is necessary in a relationship for you to trust the other person?

· How do you show love to others?

· Do you feel secure? What comprises this security?

· Who do you get affirmation from the most? Who do you desire affirmation from the most?

· Describe you relationship to your father, listing the three most significant moments with him that have affected your life. 

· Describe you relationship to your mother, listing the three most significant moments with her that have affected your life.

· What is the worst offence you have experienced?  How did you handle it?

· What makes you angry?  How do you handle the situation when you get angry? 

· When do you get most embarrassed?  Describe the circumstances?

· When do you have the most trouble making decisions? Describe the circumstances?

· Describe the circumstances that cause you to feel the most rejected? 

· When do you feel most content?

So we must face the problem, but we must not become overwhelmed by the problem.  The next step helps us face the problem and still keep it in perspective.

2. Take a God Look.  It is one thing to feel, it is another to see.  Most issues are activated by feelings - i.e. we “feel” angry, or we “feel” ashamed.  A helpful step is to see what God sees concerning the areas we are struggling with. Use the index at the back and read the verses concerning the issue s at hand.

3. Ask for Help.  In the midst of analyzing remember that it is God who unravels the complexities of our issues.  Ask Him for help - in whatever way you connect with God, ask Him. And as you pray, find a trusted friend or counselor who can be a sounding board and support for you.  Remember that issues of the heart not only involve your relationship with God, but also your relationship with others. 

4. Call your friend and have them begin to read Issues of the Heart with you.  Now it's time to begin... on to Chapter One....

You have just read the Introduction to the “Issues of the Heart” seminar manual.  Each part of this three-part seminar, endeavors to not only inform (pass on information) the attendee, but to ultimately result in the transformation of the attendee.  The seminar takes a cognitive approach in attempting to aid the attendee in discovering the “cause & effect” of his/her own “issues.”  The second step is the impartation of tools:  tools such as boundaries, complete forgiveness, memory recovery & healing, releasing judgments, etc.  The third step is to encourage and assist the attendee in finding a local counselor or pastor who can then help facilitate this process.  The fourth step is finding a local support group to aid in the ongoing healing and development of the former “issue.”

The format varies according to the desires of the attendees.  The most frequent format is six 3-hour sessions (about 15 hours of teaching).  Each session is followed by question time & personal application.  

At this point, every studious pastor asks, “What will this cost me?”  Remember, this seminar is designed to be an ongoing equipping tool for the local church. In addition to this seminar:

· There are additional “accessories” developed from the seminar material, for post-counseling support - available in booklet & e-book format (i.e. “Understanding Rejection, Understanding Anger, Understanding Depression, etc.). These booklets can be purchased as needed or the “Rights” to the “E-book” can be purchased. 

· Several of the “Destructive Behavior’s” have been developed into “Mini-seminars” designed to be held on a Friday evening through Saturday morning format...focusing on a single “Destructive Behavior” (i.e. Reconnecting Trust, The In’s & Out’s of Rejection, Anger Management, etc.). 

· In addition to the material support, “Issues of the Heart” seminar staff are “on-call” by phone, for more difficult emergencies support. This “on-call” service is only for those churches staff that have attended an Issues of the Heart seminar, and are provided on as first come, first serve basis.  Phone counseling is available by the Issues of the Heart seminar staff on a “charge-per-call” basis.

· At the present, Issues of the Heart seminar staff are developing “email-counseling” – this is a “state-of-the-art” type of counseling offered over the internet. This type of counseling provides maximum incognito, but is less effective due to a lack of personal contact.  This type of counseling is most effective for the individual that is mature and skilled in dealing with their own issues, and needing another objective opinion.  This service is charged by the email page.

· Issues of the Heart seminar staff have a few select “in-home” situations for some of the more difficult addictions.  This is a situation where the client is in a “live-in” situation for a period of time.  The charge covers personal counseling, group therapy, room & board.

The financial cost of a seminar in your local church is dependant on the number attending the seminar.  We have designed each seminar for the unique situation and city involved.

Pastor, I trust that you will find this seminar, as well as the support system, to be extremely beneficial to you.  We at “Issues of the Heart” understand that “callings” & “giftings” are different and not every pastor is a good counselor or even feels competent to counsel.  It is our purpose to support and aid the pastor in his endeavor to care for his flock. 

If finances are a problem, please talk to Dr. Nichols.  He is always working with “mission” situations aiding them in their development of an effective “pastoral” counseling ministry.

Looking forward to working with you.

Dr. Bob Nichols